Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
