There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
