i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
