he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
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