what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
