the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
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