I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
