are you so shy because you have an std?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
