you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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