do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize