I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
