I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
