I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize