I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
