Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
