hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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