Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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