Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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