I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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