I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Randomize
