you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
