Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
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