hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
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