I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
