So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
