I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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