I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
