420 ftw
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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