Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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