spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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