My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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