brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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