He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
