Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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