I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
