So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
