I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
