p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
