You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
