i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
