Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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