yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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