I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
