sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
