chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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