I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She has the best kind of daddy issues
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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