oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
