saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
