I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
being pregnant is like rehab
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
