i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
