im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Sext me about skeletons
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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