the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
