Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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