for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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