I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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