try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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