OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
