he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
