Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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