do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
