I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
