You can't motorboat a personality
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
