Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
