I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
