Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize